Caring for Jim

  Generally, socks are associated with protection and warmth.  I agree with that assessment, but my view on that simple article of clothing has broadened.  I now see socks as a representation of love and forgiveness.      Dementia can cause a loss of many good and bad memories.   When Jim came to live with us I soon realized that he didn't remember that he did not like me. He considered me a good friend.  Unfortunately, my memory had not diminished concerning his relationship with me.  I remembered his intentional disregard for me and my feelings.       One of my duties each morning was to put Jim's socks on his feet as he was no longer able to do this for himself.  He would usually respond with a "Oh lovely" or "That feels so good!"  One morning as I was carefully pulling up his socks.  I noticed tears in Jim's eyes. We  locked eyes and he said with a quiver in his voice "Thank you,  you don't n...

     I often awake in the morning to a high-pitched sound radiating throughout the house.  It is my father-in-law whistling.  It is a habit he picked up with the onset of his dementia.  He whistles everywhere and it seems all the time.  The sound might be considered enjoyable if he knew more than three measures of an unknown song.     I started turning on music in hopes that the whistling would cease.  He whistles with the music with his familar tune.  It never compliments my chosen music.  He whistles in church, the store, the car, the restaurant and the bathroom.  He was told to quit whistling in the library by an irritated patron. .He could not figure out why she would do that.     Jim does not understand why everyone does not enjoy his musical talent,  He explained that his grandma was a very good whistler, he believes quality whistling is inherited.  In exasperation, the other day I asked why he ...

     Jim has a theory if a little is good then more is better.  He has used this thought in all aspects of his life.  Sometimes it has worked to his advantage and other times it has not. He not only incorporates this thought in his business and personal life, but also with food.  If a little tastes good then just keep going.      It is not unusual to find a small decorative sugar bowl in most homes.   In the middle of Jim's table was a coffee can filled with sugar.  He did not daintly add a teaspoon or two of sugar to his coffee.  I watched in horror as he would scoop approximately a half of cup of sugar in his cup and add a little coffee or tea.   He used the liquid as a transport for the sugar. This would occur several times a day.  We felt that possibly the high quantities of sugar was contributing to the lack of energy and unresponsiveness he often exhibited.   This was not an easy habit to break....